Frustrating. I'm sorry for those who got hurt reading this.

It's frustrating to be waking up every morning and knowing that it was all just a dream.

I hate all these dreams.

I dreamnt about all those time i woke up next to you in the morning and wish your good morning and put you back to sleep. All those times when you were washing up for the day, you would align your cute toothpaste straight against your brush so straight and proper. How I had to wait for you outside the toilet until you finish bathing or do other things and i would play with the clothes pegs and clip it on my face and wait till you come out and hoping it will make you laugh but instead you say "Gile" All those times when you turned off the lights in your room and i would freak out. All those time when you had to accompany me turn off the internet because your mum's room is just too dark. All those times when you would scare the shit out of me whenever I had to turn of the internet. All those times when we cook in the kitchen and you were the only one who was cooking because i was always in your way so i had to just sit on the counter top and play your PSP. All those days spent when we walk around causeway for HOURS looking for your itouch cover but eventually didn't get any. All those times after school when i had to use your clothes because you didn't want me to go home. All those taxi rides home and the driver would be staring at us and miss my car park. All those trips to town and I would be sleeping on your shoulders and drool. How you held my head up so that my head won't fall off your shoulders whenever i sleep on them. All those nights when i had my PMS and I cried and you comforted me. The day i cried because my phone got confiscated. The days I had to do for counselling due to my orientation because my teacher saw us making out. All those nights you complain about not having any food at home. All those saturday mornings when you wake me up at 8am because you had to go down and buy food for your family. The day your mother caught us on bed. The day your dad came home while we were in the middle of an argument. How you always scold me when i want to smoke. How you always hide the cigarettes away from me. How we spent most of the time EATING. and growing fat. All those time i helped you get over your ex girlfriend and the ex contact or something. Yeah, Everything is down the drain.

I missed you. Girl, you're the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Yet, You're the best :D <3

i hate that i still love you. But I have to move on.
But you have GOT to get out of my mind & dreams, Soon.

Perfect morning.

The perfect morning .

I had to wake up and rush down to the bus stop to pick up something.
I went home, turn on my laptop and find a HUGE CRACK from the top right hand corner to the bottom left hand corner.
I got frustrated and threw my laptop to the ground.
Tried finding the stupid warranty card, which cannot be found.

But the most remarkable thing that happened is to wake up and know that i dreamnt about you again. Sigh.

50 Things to do.

50 Things to do by the end of 2010
Written on 1 Jan 2010.

Those that i bold, means, i did already :D
Italic means half done :D

1. High five at least 5 strangers.
2. Sleep naked.
3. Pass maths.
4. Pass N levels (Minimum 16 points.)
5. Get in Cat fight.
6. Stop drinking.
7. Start praying.
8. Wear short dress to town.
9. Go commando to town (-.-")
10. Break with Em.
11. On the phone while bathing.
12. Get new shoes.
13. Wear tank top to town.
14. Wear heels to town.
15. New phone.
16. Cut extreme hair cuts. Eg, Mohawk.
17. Wear make up to town.
18. Be best friends back with Adib Erwin Lubis.
19. Get a BOYFRIEND.
20. Contact at least 2 girls.
21. Get a job.
22. 3Days 2 Nights with friends.
23. Not talk for at least 3 hours.
24. Get new journal.
25. Go on a holiday
26. Jet ski again.
27. Shopping overseas.
28. Get drunk somewhere.
29. Travel around with friends in car.
30. Apologize to mum.
31. Get coach wallet.
32. Remove Ayim's tattoo (Supposed to be em)
33. Check into hotel & Drink.
34. Day out with Ayim Buttbouy.
35. Get fake eyelashes.
36. Go out with shorts.
37. Get new haversack.
38. Make Lady gaga mask.
39. Get new laptop.
40. Drink 5 bottles of mineral water in a day.
41. New piercing.
42. Loose weight till 55 - 45
43. Sleep Kak Nora's house.
44. Go see dad's new house.
45. Introduce yourself as Sabrina to 5 different strangers.
46. Go sentosa with Cekak. -.-"
47. Skinny deep (-.-")
48. 100% attendance in school.
49. Kiss Nadia's cheeks.
50. Fall in love again

Rain and karate kid.

The horrible downpour scared the shit out of me just know. Imagine sitting in a car, Just minding your own business looking out a window and suddenly see palm leaves start FLYING around. Back, front and sides. One even hit the side of our car. My dad manage to swerve in time. Thank god for that. One landed right in front of our car. Fortunately, dad manage to brake in time. At this points in life, I do appreciate god :D

I got a new ALL TIME favorite movie. Have I told you guys that this movie is freaking awesome? Go watch it ! :D

Dreams.

Weird dreams are just plain, senseless.
It clearly makes no sense. Hmmmm.
Anyways, In that dream, I was back with you. YES, you !

It's weird because i was just looking at you. Just watching you smile again,
Sleep like a pig and all. It was a fun dream.
But i was glad i woke up. HAHA ! :D

Anywho.. To those out there who would like to know who i dreamnt,
Dream on. I won't tell you. :D

Cheerios.

Fuck you.

Fuck you. Just, fuck you.
These two words when combined together can mean a lot.

Like, FUCK YOU and yes.. FUCK YOU. :D

I'm probably going to kill someone if shit doesn't end soon.
I SWEAR on my life if you don't stop bullshitting, I'll be your WORST nightmare.
So what if we're blood? It's just blood.

Fuck your blood running through my veins.
Fuck your bullshit crap i have to deal with.
Fuck your face that i have to see everyday.
Fuck all those lectures you gave.
Fuck all those bitchy looks you gave me.
Fuck all those days you made me happy
Fuck all those nights you make me cry.
Fuck you.
JUST, FUCK YOURSELF.
HOPE THAT SICKNESS YOU HAVE CAN LAND YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL.

It's amazing how much i hate you.
It's miraculous how much i went through.


And last but not least, Fuck that 20minutes.
FUCKKKKKKKKKKK.

New pictures

Enjoy jerking off.

Self potraits.

Despite all the things you said,
You allowed me to drop dead.

In short,
Fuck you.

Smash ! There goes your heart. Oops.

Some words are meant to be left unspoken.
Some actions are meant to be left unseen.
Some feelings are meant to be left unexpressed.

Everything happens for a reason.
Its either it's a good reason or not.

I have this problem,
Maria has a new partner named Mel.
Mel occasionally irritated Maria.
The thought of Mel frustrates Maria.
But Maria still enjoys Mel's company at times.
Maria wants to loose Mel.
But Maria knows that she will be making the worst mistake in her life.
What should Maria do?
What would Mel react?
I wonder .. I wonder ..

Anyways, That is up to Maria.
I don't want to get involved.
But Maria keeps pestering me.
Sorry Maria. Hehe..

Back to main topic : Me.
Urmm. Boredom as always.
Home is continuing to be worst.
Life is just a huge downpour.
I sometimes wonder to myself, I used to HAVE A LIFE.
What happened Fa? Hmmm.

Hope i can get back on track and continue loving life like i used to.
Hmmpft.

Cheerios !

Okay

It's amazing how you care about me
It's incredible how you worship me
It's shocking how much you sacrificed for me.
It's surprising how you much you love me.

It's extraordinary that i don't feel the same way.
Sorry.
Now, for YOU. I don't think I'm ready for anything serious.


I'm tired of mindless people.
I'm shagged listening to senseless humans
I'm fatigue looking at absurd pigs
Watch your mouth young lady,
You might not like what's coming.

Trying..

I'm still trying my best to change my O----------
But I'm sorry if it doesn't work.
Because I think I am born to love a certain species.
No matter what, Remember that i am not using you. Thanks.

bestfriend.

A friend of mine once told me
That you're everything i see.
We fought, we argued, we died.
We laughed, we teared, we cried.

You brighten up my day
You showed me the right way
Friend, you're the best.
You're always there when i make a mess.

Every night before i go to bed.
I think of those words that you said.
You have somebody and i do too
But its amazing how i love you

we're just friends, i accept that
It took time to accept that fact.
It has been years
You wiped away all my fears.