Sad, happy, ecstatic.

I hate everything that is happening. I was supposed to be grounded with no phone and laptop for one week. But yes, i got it back. I really don't know what to say about the people living in this house. I don't even want to call them a 'family'. My parents wants to send me to pertapis. Its like Girls home for malays. Its stupid cause i swear i won't call them my parents once they send me there. No parents wants to send their kid in there except mine. My mum even said 'I wish i wasn'tyour mum' Do you know how sad that is? Picturing back old times when we had fun, going shopping and shit. i miss all that. i miss critising people. I miss my mum. How i wish i can get back with her. Even my own mum hates me. Do you know how sad it is? Even typing this out, im crying. I know i don't usually cry but, she really meant a lot to me. I just want people to accept me for what i am. Im hating life right now. I just want my mum back. I know i did terrible things but i want to change. But i know its for the good. But will it make me smile? To see you smile at me makes me so happy. But now, it sucks. You don't even look at me. It hurts me to hear people critising you. But you know why i didn't say anything? Because its true. Its all true what they say. But you know something? I've been so selfish, thinking about myself and my happiness not thinkng about yours. You just want peace and i know that . You just have to trust me that i wont do anything stupid. I know its hard but please, give me one last chance. I know you cant read this, but i love you so much , more than anything in the world. I miss you mum. I really do. =(

For my baby, Thank you so much for going through this with me. I love you so much. I know these few days we quarell alot but its all my fault. Im really very sorry. I feel really so bad but you know that i will do anything to make things work. to make us work . I really love you. I love you so much em. I really do. Please dont leave me. Ever.=)

-Me and baby went esplanade and marina square today, had so much fun and bought alot of stuff. I love you bby !! SO MUCH! =D