Scared.

Im scared of relationships. I really am. Im terrified. I cant do it . I just cont continue with relationships. Its hard. Its fucking hard . I dont even know why im here. I dont know what the fuck im doing here. Im a coward guys. Im a fucking coward. Im scared of the term Love . Im scared of the term Commitment. Im scared of the term responsibility . I dont know why i am even standing on the face of this planet if im afraid of love .

Whenever i love someone. Very much, i am very scared if i would hurt that person or myself. I dont know what im doing here. You moved on and i crushed you. See, this is what i hate . But if i move on.. Ill be more scared .. day by day .. moment by moment .. beat my beat . Why must i be like this ? Why must i have bad experiences. Why must i have bad memories.. Why cant i move on ?

Why must everything be so mean? Why is like so mean ? Why must i live like this?
When i stop being afraid? When will i move on ? When will i start to love again ?

Whenever i look at my scars, my bruises, my memories, my experiences, my life, all the hearts i broke.. all the tears i shed.. I hate it.
I hate every single pain.
I hate every single tear .
I hate hurt .

State of confusion.